RUN, that was the voice that shouted out in my head the day I packed my suitcase and walked out of my twenty-year marriage. Don’t tell, don’t look back, just RUN!”

Decades of lies, mask, hurts, piled up in the corners of my mind, tangled cobwebs, dust piles long neglected now overshadowing our sacred history. Hidden expectations, disappointments woven together with hurtful words begin cutting the ropes that tightly bound us together.

I feel justified, so I run.

All alone in the darkness a light slowly begins to turn on in my head. I see the pictures clearly now. Beautifully framed images hanging in a home with years of joy and pain etched into them.

The birth of our children. Silly notes stuck on the refrigerator. Fingerprints on the walls. An intimate dinner cut short by hungry cries and dirty diapers. It all was a part of the tangled mess of our lives. The life I wanted to forget, yet so desperately wanted to remember.

Making my way back home would not be easy.

I prayed the gray clouds would roll back and the lump in my throat would disappear. A pain so deep it ripped a hole in my heart one I thought would never be repaired.

Tears flowed!

A raw crying out, strange to my ears yet familiar to my soul. A healing balm to the wounds that separated me from a loving God, yet now connected in a way I had never connected before. Slowly my eyes began to open, my ears began to hear, and my heart began to change.

I didn’t have to live in fear and shame anymore. He was the lifter of my head, the healer of my wounds, the restorer of my reputation.

I was free! Free to return to that place I had once called home. Free to return to the ONE I had once called husband. FREE To return home to the ONE I had once called Lord.

Free to return to the GOD I never knew.

Note from the Author:

This was written at a time of real breakthrough in my life. Healing comes in waves and this was a huge wave of healing for me. Although the feelings I had often resurfaced during times of difficulty I want you to know healing has come!

If you are hurting, I urge you to seek the wisdom and counsel of godly friends, counselors & leaders. I urge you to diligently seek out the promises in God’s Word (the Bible) not just to be a hearer of them but to be a doer of them.

James 1:22 – But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves.

If you haven’t yet met the Jesus I know and love, the One who heals all our afflictions and gives us peace, I’d love to share Him with you. In all my years of growing up in the church I never really knew this Jesus.

He is kind, loving and compassionate. He sees you and loves you right where you’re at!

John 3:16 – For God so loved the world that He gave His one and ONLY Son, that whoever believes in Him shall have everlasting life!

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